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Thursday, March 3, 2011

Today, I am going to piggyback off of my beautiful daughter, Jenifer.  She posted Grumpy! today and boy, did it home!

There are some days I am the same way...in fact, as I was reading Grumpy! this morning, I realized last night I was like this.  After I got home from church I was in a crummy mood.  First off, this laryngitis that I am STILL fighting - 8 weeks now - makes me exhausted.  Mid-afternoon every day I am wiped out.  However, I went to church...and felt miserable.  After this long fighting this laryngitis, I just don't have any energy and it is quite a chore to just put one foot in front of the other.  Besides that, my husband is fighting an issue with his feet.  He has plantar fasciitis in both feet.  He has had several cortizone shots in each foot.  The right one is better, the left one is worse!  They are so bad that by the end of the day he can't hardly walk.  Last night they were so bad he didn't go to church.  That tipped off my bad mood...I hate when he doesn't feel well and I hate when I have to go to church without him.  By the time I got home I was so exhausted that all I wanted to do was sit.  Sitting was not an option because I had several things I needed to attend to.  So, I took my shower, got ready for bed and did what needed to be done...ALL before I got to sit down and crash!  Then I tended to him and his feet.  He wanted me to hook him up to our TENS machine.  I did it...but now without huffing and puffing about it.  I had to dig the dumb thing out and get it ready to hook up to his foot.  Now, I wasn't mad at him...I was frustrated at me...because I didn't want to do it.  I wanted to do NOTHING!  So, I huffed and puffed around while I hooked his foot up to the machine.  Then after 10 minutes, I unhooked it and had to put it all back up.  Now, mind you...the entire time I was doing this 'great thing' for him, I was huffing and puffing and being 'hateful.'  I didn't say anything, I just acted ugly!

After I put the TENS machine away, I just sat in the chair and stared into space.  I didn't want to talk or think or anything.  Here is the part that really upsets me...not once did I ever think to ask God to help my rotten attitude!  What is my problem?  Why didn't I ask God?  I'll tell you why...I was having a pity party and I liked it!  Now, you have to understand that after 8 weeks of not being able to communicate because of laryngitis...I am pretty short with everything and everybody.  I just don't understand why this hasn't gone away...it doesn't matter that I get it EVERY year for 8-10 weeks...I just want to be able to talk, to sing, to preach to my Kidz Klub.  I just want to SPEAK!  Because of that...because of the circumstance...I have allowed my attitude to STINK! 

God, I ask you right now, please forgive me for my rotten attitude!  I am sorry that I have allowed this silly thing to affect my whole being.  Please forgive me.  I will accept whatever challenges you put before me.  With your help, I will do so graciously!  Please help me to remember to always go to You when the 'tude starts slipping.  Thank you, Lord.  Amen.

Walking the walk & talking the talk,

5 comments:

Jenifer said...

The JOY of the LORD with be our STRENGTH! I keep reminding myself of that. :)

Lisa said...

I'm guilty of the same thing, Debi. But God is dealing with me about it. I can have complete Joy with Jesus. I will find my strength in Him!

Phather Phil Malmstrom said...

Debi, I can't even imagine how frustrating 8 weeks of laryngitis would be, much less with everything else you listed going on. I am glad however that you could unburden your spirit here and ask God for help.

You're in my prayers as well.

Have a Blessed Day!

Debi said...

Thank you, Phil, for your kind words & prayer! I appreciate it. God bless.

Jenifer & Lisa...Jesus is our JOY!!!

Deane said...

Debi, I know you are frustrated, it has been a long time. I can not imagine having NO voice for so long. It will come back but I know the time must be going so slow for you. We all forget to go to to the Lord at times and it sure makes me angry when I do, but that is no excuse. He is always waiting for us to call on Him. I don't know why you have to go through this every year but it seems this year is worse. It has been so long since I have heard my beautiful daughter's voice, I will be overjoyed when I am able to hear you once again. By the way when I looked to see if you had posted and you hadn't and I missed out on reading what you are going through. I need to check more than once or twice a day. Perhaps God wants you to feel like you can unburden yourself instead of always listening and taking care of everyone else. That includes Dad and me as you seem to always be doing for us. We thank you for this and we don't know what we would do without you, I know you do this and without a word. Perhaps you need to be taken care of for once. We will continue to pray for you. We love you very much, you are special to us and always will be. Blessings always.